Expectations

sometimes i wished i'm not who i am...i hated the way i look...the way i sound...the way i am...arghh...
the confidence level in me is nearly zero...i became vain(that's how you put it)...i can't help asking for opinion once in a while..okay..basically most of the time...but hey..can't blame me right?i'm just insecure about myself...
time and time again..i try pulling myself together and just accept the way things are..but i just can't..
i'm surrounded by beautiful people..and it makes me feel a tinge of jealousy...that is why i really want to impress others..especially you..i want you to be proud of me...i know it's stupid...but really...i'm not lying...
i try to be up to your expectation...but i fail miserably...it's pathetic..i know...haiz...
i'm sorry..