i can't sleep right now...and i don't think i will be able to sleep anytime soon...been having bad dreams...very very bad dreams...and they just won't go away no matter how hard i try they just don't...
for a couple days now...i've dreamt of losing you...to be precise, through death...and yes i freaked out...it seems so real...i'm scared...i don't want to go through it again...not now..not ever...i don't want to...
i'm scared...
whenever i close my eyes, the dream kept replaying itself...i can't stop it...the only way is to keep awake...but i can't..i'm sleepy..very sleepy in fact...
arghh...i really wish i could have a dreamless sleep...which i never had before...most of my dreams are nightmares...before the i-kept-seeing-you-dying-before-my-eyes dreams...i used to dream of a pair of hands dragging me of my bed while ripping my pajamas to shreads..and before i knew it..i woke up in cold sweat...
but once i drift to la la land...the same thing happen again...the only different is that the subsequent dream last longer than before...sheeshhh
but now..this current nightmare is freaking the hell outta me...it seem bloody real i tell you...
i really wonder why those dreams....could be that God knows that i'm not ready to face Him...and all these nightmares are to remind me to actually repent...omigod...as much as i want to repent...the temptation to sin is too great...astagfirullahal'azim!!maybe that's what He wants of us...to resist all temptation or be condemned in hell for eternity...
i'm not afraid of death...but come to think of it...i fear the aftermath of death...*shivers in fear*
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