My pain...

arghh....it was terrible...the test i mean...my mind went completely blank...i can't think straight...i am so going to fail COMANA...oh well..there's another test tomorrow..hope i can just get through it...hmm..at the library now...arghh...it's going to rain today..yippey!!!hahha because...i'm wearing shoes today!!!yeay!!!it's been a long time since my toes been squashed...hahha
ate chicken chop at SIM today with Razia & Amin...just 3 teens laughing & chatting while having lunch together...it's was a great feeling...it definitely lifted my mood today...
i don't know why but i been thinking about death alot these days...i can't wait for death to come...i jst can't carry on living anymore...no..don't get me wrong...i'm not heartbroken or anything...and i definitely love my life as it is..just that...i don't know how to explain...MAYBE i've sinned enough for last 19yrs of my life...and i just can't carry on sinning...haiz..i don't know..i love my family...i love my friends..and i definitely love him...i'm content with what i have now...but something's missing...the enthusiasm to carry on living...before this i used to dream about what's going to happen...i used to daydream alot...now i don't...i'm afraid...haiz...this is so depressing...how i wished i could make the pain just go away...