Hey...im in school rite now..i noe its late...i wen to attent izzad's audition...he's in da Ohh La La Duet category...he grouped up wit adly & za...cooL...i hope dey will get in...haiz...i donnoe wats wrong wit me tis dayz...i kept criticising everyone i don like..usually i juz shut da fuck up...but i donnoe why i cant control my freaking temper...i donnoe whether im angry or depress...i hate myself lately....i donnoe...i realli donnoe...maybe shark's rite...i kept taking tings so seriously...all tis stress was caused by me...not anione else...i mean..tis sux...i donnoe how to overcome it...i cant talk to anione...but i kept all tis to myself...y do i haf to make tings worse...if only i didnt take wat syawal did too hard...but..but im juz being me...true i never show tat side of me to him...but it doesnt mean i don feel da pinch in da past...i mean..i juz got too far tis time...am i wrong to feel tis way bloggie?..i mean even if i didnt realli show it..doesnt mean i don feel it...rite?haiz..i donnoe..i donnoe how to face dem tomoro...fuck~tis juz sux....

hey...i juz to talk to sum1...how r u?..im sorry 4 not updating u 4 a while...im sorry...im juz depress rite now... nothings goin rite...my lifes a mess... i dont noe...i mean...i haf tis freaking temper of mine...i mean...i used to be able to control it...but now it seems i cant nomore...mayb coz i bottled my feelings to long? or i juz cant stand being treated in a certain way...noeing certain things...i donnoe...i cant help feeling kranky...i shun crowds...even my own frends...i dont seem to laugh or smile nomore...it seems hard to do so...i mean...i donnoe...i wan to shut myself from everything everyone...im sarcastic even in normal conversations....i spit angry words at people for no apparent reason...i juz wan to cry...tats all i've been doing....2004 doesnt seem brand new...juz wished itll end soon...i dont wanna go to school...i hate people looking at me...im fat...big breasts!!i hate it...i dun wan da attention...i juz wanna be me...da old me tat geeky lil girl..tat noone took notice of...im juz plain dirt...i like it tat way...but my lifes ruin...it didnt go as my mommy n daddy plans it to b...i hate thinking bout...but i cant help it...everynite i lay in bed thinking about all this...asking where im going...wheres all this gonna lead me...i suck at everything...i cant score a pathetic B for my moduels...im hopeless...im surrounded wit clever beautiful people...i tried to get into the crowd...but i cant...im pretending...haiz...i donnoe bloggie...does ur life suck like mine?haf u ever wonder?

Vertical Horizon - Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the boy
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever

i juz love tis song...haiz..i hope u will come back...coz i miss u so much...n i hope tis is juz a nitemare tat will go away... :(

dear bloggie....today is da worse day of the week....i dunnoe if it will b ani better tomoro...haiz...1stly i discover sumthing i never wan to know....2ndly i didnt noe tat ppl will judge my friendship....my heart felt like it had shattered a million pieces...it hurts so bad....i wish i cud shout out loud....but sumhow i cudnt...i feel dissapointed in myself....i think....i dunnoe wat to feel rite now....am i hurt?mad perhaps...i dunnoe...a mystery actualli...ah well...juz hope things will get better tomoro...gd nite...
tata~

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2 ALL!!!!!
yeay!!!2004 is finally here....woOoOoOHhHhH!!!!time do fly fast huh??im already in my 2nd semester of 2nd yr...goOoOoShHh!!!tats realli scariieeee!!!!HmPpPpHhHH....its a whole brand new yr..n here i am sitting in tis pathetic room *wit no door mind u!!* updating my precious blog...instead of partying my butts off todae...its a public holiday todae...damn!!!im bored...
oh yah...forget to tell ya...ady met with an accident...yesterday...poor thing...i wonder how he is...da Atrium Pantatz had wen to visit him earlier...it was said he will be undergoin some kind of operation.....*wonder if he's hurt badly*...ermmm
enuf of da sad news...heres da gd news...im done wit my work at ASE!!!hahah yessah!!nomore early morning showers...nomore sleepy morning ride to werk...yessah!!!!and school will be out real soon!!!im so glad....hehhe cant wait to start all those boring lectures...i really can cant wait to get studying...mugging for my tests n exams....hahahhaa....ironic isnt it??hehhehe
*waiting*
where is he??why is he taking so long...hmmm.....aniway....i guess tats about it bloggie...muacks!!!happie new yr to u once again...n i will definite change da way u look wokay???hehhe