give it ur own title

it's been quite awhile since i last been here.. too many things have happened that i can't possibly post.. too painful.. too haunting..
well not that things are turning better now..
he's never letting me go.. pulling me deeper into this pit-hole.. threatening me all the same..
haiz..
i'm really ill right now.. been sick for days.. so is dearsis.. hmmm.. that man is still not working or even planning to i guess.. pity dearmum.. wished i could just kicked his butt or knocked some sense into his goddamn thick empty skull.. but then again.. he has this status called father.. right.. he doesn't even deserved to be called that..
frankly i'm going nuts with my father being an irresponsible person.. my ex is forever trying.. none of them listens to reason.. just why? can't you both just stop and think for one moment.. do you even deserved what you trying to get? yes learn from mistakes.. but it doesn't make things okay in a short span.. sometimes things never even go there.. and stop putting the blame on others..
you ol' man.. you don't deserve her at all.. you treat her like slave.. cursed her, beat her.. you expect food to be at the table when you never bother to go out and work.. yes we are your children.. and wea re supposed to care for you.. but still we are your responsibility.. so don't blame us for mistreating you.. what goes around comes around..
as for you.. how could you think i could easily be with you after hearing you said all the words you should have said long before? jjst because you are trying doesn't mean i am obligated to you in anyway.. you are not doing me a favour by the way.. what took you so long to realised how precious our love was? why after that fatal mistake.. yes a mistake can be forgiven but the pain lingers... i don't choose this path to find another.. i just wan to find peace.. i want to be on my own.. i can't face another heartache anymore.. and the bottom of it all.. i don't love you no more.. my heart is stoned.. so stop trying.. my answer is finalised.. if you think i have my own agenda going on.. fine whatever.. i have absolutely nothing else to say..
i've said what i have always wanted to say.. to you both.. open your eyes..